Scott Sheaffer
Westfield, Massachusetts

An ancient scholar once said that no man could step in the same river twice because both the man and the river will have changed. In some ways that quote reflects what Stan Lee has meant to me over the years. I've changed and my image of Stan has changed.

My earliest memories of Stan go back to when I was 7 or 8 years old. I'd just fallen under the spell of the four-color worlds of wonder called comic books. In those days I read DC and Charlton as well as Marvel comics, but the Marvels were my favorites. My first two comics were DCs, but my next four were Marvels. Among them were DEVIL DINOSAUR, CAPTAIN AMERICA and a couple of HULKs. I read them over and over and over again.

In those early days, I didn't notice credits. When I started noticing them, the first thing that made an impact was "Stan Lee Presents." Later as my collection continued to grow, I started noticing the other credits at the bottom of the page. Sure, they said, "Roy Thomas Writer" and "John Buscema Penciler," but in the workings of my 8 year old mind, Stan Lee was the important one. He had to be.

In the primeval days of my love affair with comics, the only Stan Lee writings I actually read were a few issues of MARVEL'S GREATEST COMICS (a mag which reprinted Stan Lee and Jack Kirby's run on THE FANTASTIC FOUR) and "Stan's Soapbox." As I grew older, I realized Stan wasn't creating the current comics, but had been a great writer long ago.

More time passed. By age 14, I was a Marvel Zombie, disdaining everything by other publishers. I remember one time the guy at Moondance Comics (a long gone Holyoke, Mass., comic-book store) tried to tell me about this DC series by this guy who helped create the Marvel Universe. "No way!" I thought or maybe even said. DC sucks and everyone knows Stan Lee's the one who created the Marvel Universe. I gave the lowly DC series a pass although a DC flyer with info about it was included in my bag of comics one week.

Actually those DC flyers were in there every month. I also got copies of Marvel's news/promotional book, MARVEL AGE. I devoured MARVEL AGE, particularly the series of articles recapping Marvel history starting with THE FANTASTIC FOUR #1. Icarus like, Stan Lee soared to ever grander heights in my estimation. I bought every line of hype, and my imagination embellished Lee even more. Stan Lee was a genius! He saved a dying company and a dying industry by revolutionizing comics single handed. For me, the Silver Age began with FF #1. SHOWCASE? The Flash? Julius Schwartz? Lee portrayed three-dimensional characters instead of two-dimensional ones. He made comics appealing to older readers. He made comics cool. Stan Lee was the greatest, most important figure in the medium I loved.

Idols fall though, and childhood illusions can be shattered.

It all began with a comic book, a discarded comic book, salvaged from someone else's trash. My uncle drove a garbage truck. Now and then he'd come across comics people had thrown away. One Christmas Eve, I think it was 1986, he gave me a batch of these comics. They were 1970s comics. I loved '70s comics. I still do. I spent a wondrous night going through them. One grabbed my attention, an issue of THE ETERNALS. The Eternals! I remembered them from my first THOR comic. I read THE ETERNALS comic, and it hit me with a wave of creative energy and enthusiasm like some wild Jazz jam from the Dixieland era. The same guy wrote, drew and edited the comic. A guy named Jack Kirby.

Jack Kirby... where'd I heard that name before? The art style looked familiar. At first I didn't like it. I thought it looked crude and blocky, but it infected me. Within days I was feverish over the power and energy of that artwork. And the writing! The writing exploded with incredible ideas. But, hmmm... where had I heard that name before? Why did that art look familiar? Eventually it hit me, Jack Kirby also wrote and drew DEVIL DINOSAUR and my first CAPTAIN AMERICA comic. I remembered his name had been mentioned in those MARVEL AGE articles too. He drew many of the books, Stan worked on. He drew those FF reprints I read. I saw Kirby credited as a co-plotter in the Marvel Index to the Fantastic Four. To me that meant Kirby was co-writing THE FANTASTIC FOUR with Lee. So why did Lee get most of the credit and recognition?

Another batch of comics, this one from a friend's older brother, contained KAMANDI #1. A Kirby comic from DC!! It was every bit as good as THE ETERNALS. I scoured the back issue bins for more. Then I remembered the DC series by that guy who helped create the Marvel Universe. It was the 1980s reprinting of Jack Kirby's THE NEW GODS. I couldn't get enough Kirby comics. As creative as he was, it was hard to believe he didn't also create all sorts of characters during his '60s run at Marvel.

Then I learned about the controversy. In fandom, there was debate about who wrote the early Marvels and who created the characters. Stan Lee or Jack Kirby? I looked at Kirby, a man who poured out concepts and characters by the bucketful from the 1940s through the '80s. Then I looked at Lee. The only noteworthy characters I associated him with were created during the '60s when he worked with Kirby and Steve Ditko. I could think of nothing before that period and nothing of import after that period.

Stan's star fell. I despised him. For me, Stan epitomized bragging glory hogs and company men. I actually felt angry at him, and I'd rant about how he stole it all from Jack. My view of Stan remained this way for years. Yet eventually, what Stan Lee meant to me underwent further metamorphosis.

Real life caught up. First college and then work ate up free time. I started reading fewer and fewer comics. Then I felt insulted when publishers expected me to fall for multiple covers, relaunches and a number of other gimmicks. When I glanced at new comics, they seemed to lack that magical something I used to find in them. I fell away. Oh, for years afterwards I kept buying comics I was going to read, "someday." First word of booming sales drifted back to me eventually followed by news of chaos and disaster. After two comic book suppliers closed on me, I stopped buying.

One day in 1999 I decided to read two Fantastic Four volumes of Marvel Masterworks. My heart melted in a welter of nostalgia. I even felt a soft spot for Stan Lee. I wondered what had become of THE FANTASTIC FOUR. I took a trip to a comic-book store. It was a depressing experience. Comics had evolved into harsh, alien things. I barely recognized my childhood friends. I bought an issue of FF, though. On a cold, overcast day, I read it. I used to read standard-sized comics in 20-30 minutes. It took me three hours to struggle from cover to cover through a nearly incomprehensible story in which nothing happened. If new comics couldn't assuage my reawakened appetite for comics, I'd find other ways. I joined a Jack Kirby discussion group on the Internet and started buying reprints of old comics I didn't have. Stan Lee was discussed frequently on the Kirby List. In the furious feuds, I came down against Stan.

Things happened, though. I'd always been able to see what Kirby brought to the Lee/Kirby team. I'd known about but never appreciated what Lee brought it. I read some Golden Age Stan Lee stories, though. They weren't very original, but Stan's ability to flesh out characters was outstanding. I was especially moved by his take on "the misunderstood monster" in a Frankenstein story he wrote. This theme emerged again later in the Marvel Age and it was one reason I loved Marvel so much. I came to respect Stan's genius as an editor even when, from a fan standpoint, I disagreed with his decisions. Where I used to get annoyed by Stan's endless hype, I now saw how important it was for promoting Marvel and creating that fun, cozy atmosphere I loved as a young fan. Also, it started reminding me of tall tales spun by a favorite uncle.

Then I heard Stan had been fired from Marvel. I realized that even with his greater fame and fortune, he'd also been screwed by mainstream comics' work-for-hire practices. I hoped his Internet venture would succeed and deliver some comeuppance to Marvel. I felt bad when it failed, and Stan got left holding the bag. I enjoyed his JUST IMAGINE series at DC. I read his bio-auto-biography (or whatever he called it) with advance warning of its flaws. I came away utterly charmed. Kirby and Ditko are getting greater recognition for their roles and that's ameliorated the feelings I had on that issue.

I think there are times Stan has claimed too much credit, but I've discovered other times when he's been generous with credit. Besides, I've mellowed with age and gotten a life, ya know?

In the beginning, I viewed Stan Lee as one of those flawless Golden Age heroes. When I discovered he wasn't perfect and was in conflict with other heroes of mine, I viewed him as a villain and a charlatan. Now I see him like one of those tragically flawed heroes of myth and Marvel. And, of course, those Marvel heroes often fought with each other, yet we fans could admire them all, just like we can admire Lee, Kirby and Ditko despite their differences.

My changing views reflect my own journey. I started as a wide-eyed hero worshiper, prone to corporate spoonfeeding. I became a skeptic, questioning earlier heroes and championing anti-establishment guys. (That's how I viewed Kirby in relation to Marvel.) Now I hope I've reached a point where I'm fair minded, where I can see through spin without overreacting against it. I hope I can see where accomplishment is overblown, and yet still appreciate it when deflated to its true level. I hope I've become tolerant enough to accept people's weaknesses and admire their strengths.

I've changed and what Stan Lee means to me has changed, just like the river and the man.